THE UNION:

There's been some chat recently regarding Hanson and the Moffatts and the possibility of them getting together for a show or something. I don't know how probable that is, considering the fact that Hanson barely acknowledges that the Moffatts exist, and the Moffatts speak of Hanson in hushed tones with a kind of mildly grateful awe. I think I would want it to happen, if for no other reason than the inevitable humor element. Just think of all the possibilities for the meeting…

Things Hanson and the Moffatts Could Bond Over
  • Taylor and Scott could bond over what it's like to be Taylor.
  • The benefits vs. problems of having a bass player who has a genetic link to the rest of the band.
  • Dave and Ike could bond over what it's like to be universally written off.
  • The Moffatts could tell Hanson what it's like to have heterogeneous hair.
  • They could all get together and give poor Dave some rock star lessons.
  • To go shirtless or not. The debate continues.
  • Zac and Bob could piss and moan about what it's like to be the unfairly overlooked, vocally underutilized drummer.
  • They could debate which is better, general public dissension (Hanson) or general public indifference (The Moffatts).
  • Imagine what sort of a I Hate My Record Company party that would be…
  • God and the music industry: A viable combination?
  • Clothes and the young pop star: Hillfiger or DKNY?
  • Should you shave, even when Dad says you don't need to?
  • Moffatts, this is the Spencer Davis Group. Hanson… meet Nirvana.
  • What's the only thing better than having a cheesy website? How about two cheesy websites?!
  • They could argue over who's cooler, Ric Ocasek or Glen Ballard. Of course, Hanson would inevitably win because Alanis Morisette is, like, so ten minutes ago.
  • Clint and Ike could have an I Hate My Limelight Stealing Diva Brother conversation.

Possible Activities for the Meeting
  • Ike does Butthead impression. Wait for reaction.
  • They could take a vote on who looks more like Taylor, Scott or Taylor.
  • And if that's inconclusive, they could just duke it out. (I don't know about you, but I'd buy tickets.)
  • They could all stand in the street in front of TRL with signs that say BANDS ROCK! LET US UP CARSON! Now that's my idea of a fan gathering.
  • Backstreet Boys poster + darts = a fun time
  • Nothing to talk about? Lazer tag!
  • Zac could just sit in the back of the room and make fun of all of them.

Why it would be a good thing:
  • Let's face it. They're all in the same boat.
  • They actually play music. There are so many acts out there right now that don't, it might be nice to see some inter-band support. Or something.
  • I would just laugh so hard.
  • You would tune in just to see the inevitable fashion competition that would ensue. God knows, Scott and Taylor seem to be engaged in a Who Can Be More Outrageous contest already. Did anyone check out Scott in that red sequined cowboy hat? Thanks to that one accessory, I think he's winning.
  • Eh. It might have its cool moments. You never know.

Why it might not be a cool thing:
  • Can you say backstage spat between Walker and the Moffatt dad? Oh wait, that might be one of the cool things…
  • Tay and Scott on one stage. It might be like a cross between The Three Tenors and VH1 Divas Live. Scary. Oh, but they might get into a cat fight, which again, would make that a cool thing…
  • Two bands become one band. Only one drummer is needed. Who gets the boot? Zac or Bob? Actually, if this ever actually happened, I think Zac might volunteer to sit the set out.
  • Dear God, can you even imagine the press… The comments about puberty and changing voices and the ability to vote and hair length! It truly makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

A Hanson/Moffatts union. Will it ever happen? The Bright and Beautiful prediction:

Over Walker's dead body.