"Yo Ham!"

I’m Sam, but my cousin calls me "Ham" because it’s from Green Eggs and Ham.

"Are you going to play loud tonight?" I say to him. My cousin is always loud. He plays drums. I wished I could play with him and the other two tonight.

"Did you bring your keyboard?"

I'm happy. I hid it under the table, but now I show it to him.

"Only the little one." Then I remember what my dad said, and I don’t want my cousin to be mad, "Dad said it’s your show and that only you guys are going to play."

My cousin’s hair is full of braids. His mom likes to put beads in his hair. My mom only lets me have a tail in my hair, but no other braids.

"Hammy, show me your hands."

I know what he’s going to do. My cousin is probably my best friend, even though I’m bigger than him. I show him the bottom part of my hands. Yup, he’s using his drumsticks to play something for me.

"You’re gonna hafta play louder than that tonight, Zac! I can’t hear you!"

My cousin is so funny. Click Click Click. His hair sounds funny with beads in it. He’s starting to get louder.

"Ouch!" Even though it stings, I’m laughing.

"Dude, loud enough for you?" Zac jumps on the couch. I can feel the drumsticks on my back now. He’s standing on the couch, but I know he’s not supposed to.

"Zac! What are you doing?" It’s my other cousin. He’s still younger than me, but sometimes he thinks he’s older. It’s okay though. I like him ‘cause he lets me play his keyboards. His keyboards are cool. "Stop hurting him! Sam, are you okay?"

"Ham, your head is like the cymbals okay? Tay, I’m just practicing for tonight. Sammy doesn’t mind, do you, Sam?"

I don’t know want the guys to be mad at me or to fight. That would be my fault. Then everybody will be mad and there won’t be a show. I don’t know what to do.

"Sam, our moms made some food . . . Let’s eat, then you can show me some chords you’re working on."

Tay is my next best friend after Zac. I don’t know. They’re different. I like them both the best, maybe. Everybody just lets me play my music by myself. My dad even says, "Sam, would you turn the volume down. Not so hard, you’re going to break your keyboard." But Tay knows how much I love it. I can tell because he loves it too. Maybe because we both have tails in our hair. I only let him show me stuff to do. Only he can say, "Sam, that stinks. Try this." And all I have to do is hear him play it and I can do it too.

But even sometimes I’ll play something and he says, "Stop! Play that again!" Sometimes I can remember, but sometimes it’s too hard. And I can’t. I feel sad, but then he’ll close his eyes and try to remember what I played before.

He makes up new songs. That’s the best part. His brothers and him write words to songs. I never remember the words, but the music makes me happy. So I play their songs, when I’m not playing mine.

"HEL-lo! Sam! Are you there? Earth to Sam, prepare to land!" I don’t feel the drumsticks on my back any more. It’s Zac calling me. Tay is looking at me, and now my other cousin, Ike is in the room.

"Is he okay?" Ike is only a little older than me. He used to be my walkie-talkie buddy. I brought mine tonight too. Maybe he wants to play with me, but I think I’m the only one. He likes girls now.

"I was only practicing for tonight . .. ." Zac’s brothers think he hurt me.

"You hit him on the head, Zac." Tay really is older than Zac. Too bad for Zac.

"Guys, he’s alright," Ike comes over, "Hey buddy, we’re ready to eat."

I want to scare them, so I fall over on the couch.

"He’s playing . .. he’s just playing," Ike thinks I’m joking with them. I open one eye, but close it quick. "Listen, too bad Sam can’t play that last song with us tonight, now that he’s . .. DEAD!" Ike is talking really loud.

"HEY!!" I’m sitting up now . . . Dad will never believe this! "Play with you guys? Tonight?"

"Man, we thought you were a goner . . ."

"Six feet under . . ."

"Worm food, homey . . ."

"Pushing up daisies . . ."

"Doing laps in a dirt pool . . ."

My cousins are talking crazy. I’m looking at them, but I know they’re saying stuff that’s crazy.

"Ike, ‘Doing laps in a dirt pool?’ Now, that’s weird, but somehow, eh, interesting?" Tay is laughing.

"Yeah, that’s retar---" Before Zac can say anything, his brothers say, "Zac!!" My sisters do that to me sometimes too. I hate it.

"Good thing, Dad let me bring my keyboard!! This is cool!! My dad said I couldn’t play with you guys at the show, but now I can tell him, you said I could."

It is quiet. My cousins are looking at something on the floor.

"Hey, let’s eat .. . I’m starving!" Zac gets up and wants to run out of the room. "Last one there’s a smelly old green egg, Ham!!"

"No way, Zac!" He always gives me a little space, because my leg doesn’t work real good. I am hungry. We have to get there before the other two or else all the good stuff will be gone. I can already smell there’s going to be barbecue chicken. I’m going to eat a lot because this is going to be my first show. I can’t wait to tell my sisters that I’m playing in the show!! They’re going to say, "No way, Sam!!" But it’s going to be "Way."

"Yeah, we’re all going to have to stay in the parking lot. We’re going to have to make sure everybody goes to the bathroom before we leave home because we can’t even go inside the Blue Rose with them for that, " my aunt is talking to my mom.

"Hi Aunt Diana. Mom, guess what?"

Zac pulls me over to the table with all the food, "Sammy, it’s your favorite—devilled eggs!" He knows I love those.

"Whoa, slow down guys," my mom says to us. "Sam, only take two to start." My mom always reminds me about junk like that.

"Mo-om, I know. I know." She always lets me have more if there’s some left over. "Okay."

I was going to say something to her, but I forgot. Oh yeah!! I’m going to be in the show tonight, "Hey Mom!"

My other cousins come running over to the table. Their mom says, "Take it easy guys, save some energy for later."

"You guys aren’t taking all the food now are you?" Ike is getting a napkin, "Here Sam, you forgot a napkin."

"Did you want something to drink, Sam? I’ll get it for you." Taylor is grabbing two cups.

Zac is staring at his brothers and then he says, "Here, take my devilled eggs. I don’t really like them too much." Now Zac is being nice too.

The guys want me to do the show with them tonight AND they’re being nice. They’re ALL my best friends. I wished they were my brothers, but I only have sisters. Cousins are okay.

"I want a Coke," I tell Tay when Zac puts his eggs on my plate.

"Okay, but there’s Dr. Pepper too, you know?"

"I like Cherry Coke."

"I’ll see what we have, okay?"

"Okay." That’s okay. I just like pop, and my mom doesn’t always let me drink too much.

"Sam, let’s go on the porch where there’s no girls or babies, " Zac says to me after we get our food. We can see our sisters playing in the living room with the Zac’s baby brother.

"Oh Taylor, thanks for getting Sam’s drink for him," my mom is smiling at Tay. She forgot that I’m older than him. Even though I can’t walk very well, I can still get my own drinks. Now I wished I got it myself.

Our dads are already outside. They’re grilling meat.

"Hey fellas," my uncle says to us.

"Dad, you know how you didn’t want me to bring my keyboard tonight?" I know my dad is going to be surprised when I tell him about the show.

"Rats!!"

"Zac, good thing you’re eating outside . . . otherwise we’d have to change our carpet color to Dr. Pepper." My uncle and dad have to jump back because Zac spilled his drink almost all over them.

My dad is wiping his legs when he remembered that I said something to him, "Your keyboard, Sam?"

"Yeah . . . "

"Sam, quick get me some more napkins will ya? My shoes are getting soaked!"

"Sam doesn’t have to do that for you, Zac," Uncle Walker sees Tay coming through the door. "Tay, Zac’s appointment with Dr. Pepper didn’t go so well . . . grab some paper towels for us, please."

Tay starts to yell at Zac, but Zac points to me and then Tay says, "Sam, can you come help me a minute?"

"Why does everybody need Sam’s help all of a sudden? Let the man eat his food. Tay, you know where the towels are, just bring us a roll."

Now my uncle was mad.

"I’ll go, Tay, " I want to help him.

"You don’t have to, you know, Sam . . ." My uncle is looking at Tay.

"It’s okay. I want to . . . "

"Now that I’m 30 years old, I’m already dry over here . .. never mind," Zac says. "But bring me another pop, would ya, Tay?" He’s smiling the same way my sisters smile when they know I’m in trouble for something, but they’re not.

I can tell that Tay is not mad at me any more, but probably he’s mad at Zac ‘cause after I go inside, he slams the screen door AND the glass door shut really hard.

I see Ike talking on the phone.

"Ike’s on the phone."

"Yeah, probably talking to his girlfriend. I don’t know why she wants to be Ike’s girlfriend." Tay is laughing. "I think he wants her to kiss him because he wrote something for her and tonight he’s going to surprise her at the . .. " Taylor stops talking.

What? A surprise? My cousin looks very red. Then I remember something, so I say, "I hope she comes to the show. Then she can see us all play together."

Taylor freezes like we are playing freeze tag or something. Only, I'm not IT, and I didn’t tag him.

"Look, Sam, we have to talk about that. Let me go get Ike okay?" He gives me the roll of paper towels. "Bring that to Zac and tell him we need to see him inside." He should’ve told me not to say anything about the show to my dad when I got outside, but he didn’t . . . so that’s the first thing I say to my dad when I get outside because I was going to say it right away but I forgot before.

"Dad, I’m playing in the show tonight. On the keyboards with Tay. They said I could and now I shoulda’ brought my BIG keyboards."

"Walker, did you know about this?" My dad doesn’t look as happy as me. Maybe he's mad that he didn’t let me bring the other keyboards.

"Zac? Get your brothers. We need to talk." My uncle doesn’t look happy either.

I forgot what I was supposed to tell Zac. "Everybody’s already looking for you Zac. Tay wanted me to get you."

"Charles," that’s my dad’s name. Uncle Walker starts to talk really soft, but I could still hear him "the guys would love to have Sam play tonight, but . . . "

"Say no more," my dad stops him. "Son, looks like you forgot Zac’s Dr. Pepper. Why don’t we head inside. Walker, we’ll send the guys out." My uncle moves his head. He winks at me.

Whew! I thought he was mad at me. But I guess not.

Ike sees me first when my dad and I go inside.

"Hey Sam, did you tell Zac we need to talk about . .. about . .. " when he sees my dad he stops talking. A lot of people don’t say things around me and sometimes that makes me feel sad. But I know that this time, Ike doesn’t want to say something in front of my dad. But I already told. Maybe it was supposed to be a secret. And I told.

"Your dad is looking for you two fellas outside." My dad and Uncle Walker like to call us "fellas." That makes me laugh, but not now, because my cousins look scared. They look at me, but they are too afraid to look at my dad. They are looking at the floor again. Then Tay goes to open the door and they are gone. Outside.

"Dad, I forgot my food out there and I need to bring Zac his pop."

"I’ll do it, " my dad says.

"Sam, what happened?" My aunt looks worried. I shrug. I don’t know.

When my dad gets back inside, he talks to my mom and aunt so I can’t hear. Then my aunt smiles at me, but I can tell she looks sad too. She goes outside on the porch.

Then all of a sudden my mom and dad come over to talk to me.

"Sweetie," my mom gives me a hug, "why don’t you wait until we can bring over your big keyboard and you guys can do a private concert, just for the family?"

"Hey buddy, we know you love to play music, but there’s going to be a lot of people out there tonight and it’s going to be really crazy."

I put my hands over my ears so I couldn’t hear them any more. I know my cousins asked me to play with them. I know they want me to be in the show.

"Sam, listen—" my dad was going to say something, but my mom stops him. My cousins are coming inside. I hear the door slide open through my hands over my ears.  I put my hands down.

"You guys finish your plates, then we’ll talk." My mom always makes sure I get enough to eat.

"Aunt Evelyn, you remember the song we wrote for Sam?" My mom looks at Ike for kind of a long time. I think she’s thinking of crying.

"Hmmm . . . "

"We’d like to play that for him tonight." Ike is looking at me now.

I like that song. "That’s the one I’ve been practicing. I know that one."

"Will you help us warm up by rehearsing it with us before the show for everybody?" Tay comes over to pull my tail. He knows I hate that when people do that, but he knows I can get him back.

"If you say no, I’ll have to get rid of my drum set and use you for my practice kit FOREVER," Zac is trying to make me laugh.

"Do you still want me to be in the show?" I didn’t know if they wanted me to be in the show or not.

"You know how that song is about you, Sam?" Ike looks embarrassed, like it was a secret he didn’t want to tell.

"About me?" I didn’t know that. I’m shaking my head.

"Yeah, that’s the way, you’re going to be in the show with us tonight." Zac is so happy to tell me this. "It's a song about YOU and we're going to play it for the people at the show.  Okay?"  Everybody is smiling. My mom gives me another wink. It’s my second wink tonight.

"Okay." I'm still going to be in the show.

Later, we warm up and we play for our family.  Just people who know us the best . . .  I don't know what my cousins are singing. And when I look at my mom and dad, I don't know if they are happy because they are holding hands and my mom is using a tissue on her eyes again.  I don't think my dad is mad, even though my fingers are hitting the keyboard too hard.  Me and my cousins don't look at each other, because the music is our boss.  But I stop thinking about who is happy and who is sad and I just feel like my cousins and me could play forever . . . never stopping.  

Don't Accuse
Boomerang
I. Hanson/T. Hanson/Z. Hanson

Ooooooh, NO NO NO NO!!!
There was a boy, he was lame.
He had a limp in his leg.
People looked at him with a frown
He said, "Why do you put me down?"

Chorus:
No, no, no, no don’t accuse
You don’t know what they’ve been through.
No, no, no, no don’t accuse
You don’t know what they’ve been through.

How would you like it if I hurt you
Way deep inside.
If I looked at you with a groan
Would you feel all alone?

No one comes over to help you
It seems like nobody cares
Maybe next time you’ll think twice
Before you accuse and compare.

Chorus.

When you prick us, do we not bleed?
When you whip us, do we not weep?
When you hurt us, do we not cry?
When you stab us do we not die?

Chorus: repeated 3xs.

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