Laura is 21, rather short and blind as a bat with heavyish Italienne eyebrows that she waxes every three weeks so that she might have two rather than one. She is an Emersonian, a Bostonian, a Kennedy/Clintonian Democrat, a liberal of the most unadulterated bleeding heart variety and a culture junkie, pop and otherwise. She harbors addictions to raspberry iced tea, Heath Bars and Kun Pao Chicken from P.F. Chang's which she likes to eat with white rice (She makes gallant efforts to use chopsticks. She often fails.) while watching The Golden Girls on Lifetime. She fancies herself a writer, which is laughable on most days of the year, but she continues in the dogged practice anyway. She is obviously a glutton for punishment.

She is available and open to criticism, praise, sneers, stupid questions, and bar mitzvahs. You may contact her here to inquire. Keep in mind that you may not receive a response if a) you are in a sour mood, b) you e-mail her at a point in time when she is swamped with other e-mail, c) you write something about her being unnecessarily mean to Taylor Hanson. If you would like to know her AOL IM name so that you and she may carry on a real-time, dynamic, give-and-take conversation, she asks that you please e-mail her and ask.

The author would ask you to keep in mind that every word printed on this webpage, with the single exception of the above is entirely poppycock and drivel. She does not wish you, Mme. Reader, to assume that she knows Hanson, that Hanson has ever truly cavorted with Fiona Apple, or that she has a single clue about anything. The names and faces are real. The lives have been changed to protect the guilty. She sends you love and kisses and hopes to hear from you soon.